It is tempting to fight with your spouse during a divorce, particularly since you are now at cross- purposes on a variety of issues. You can choose to fight your spouse at every turn, or you use some simple tools to limit the rage and tension between you two, thereby, with luck, cutting the length and cost of your divorce. A San Diego family law attorney can give you the best advice on reducing conflict and keeping a cool head during your divorce case.

It is tempting to fight with your spouse during a divorce, particularly since you are now at cross- purposes on a variety of issues. You can choose to fight your spouse at every turn, or you use some simple tools to limit the rage and tension between you two, thereby, with luck, cutting the length and cost of your divorce. A San Diego family law attorney can give you the best advice on reducing conflict and keeping a cool head during your divorce case.

 

Consider these tools:

  • Make an affirmative decision to modify your communication patterns. Your prior way of communicating probably wasn’t effective, so first commit to change.
  • Before you talk, decide what your goal is in the communication and stick to that goal. For example, if you are just trying to schedule a visitation with your children, don’t accuse your spouse of cheating. Use language that is non-accusatory and directed solely at satisfying the task at hand.
  • Relax before you speak. Take deep steady breaths, or slowly count to 10.
  • Ask yourself whether the issue at hand is important enough to fight for. Choose the battles that are most important to you.
  • Don’t interrupt. Let your spouse finish speaking before you to speak.
  • Listen to what your spouse is saying. Repeat back what was just said to you or ask questions to make sure you understand.
  • Look at the issue from your spouse’s point of view. Try to understand why the issue may trouble him or her.

 

For the best advice on handling your divorce, contact San Diego family law attorney Lisa Zonder for an initial consultation.