Family law matters are much more easily resolved when each part to the conflict feels like he/she is being heard and understood. Dialogue and understanding helps lead to agreements. Here, an experienced San Diego family lawyer offers tips on maintaining that open line of communication.

Family law matters are much more easily resolved when each part to the conflict feels like he/she is being heard and understood. Dialogue and understanding helps lead to agreements. Here, an experienced San Diego family lawyer offers tips on maintaining that open line of communication.

 

Acknowledge you could be wrong. Tell your spouse that rather than revisiting the past, you would prefer to work towards a resolution by correcting your past mistakes.

 

Rephrase what your spouse said to you. In that manner, he or she knows you are respectful and actually hears what is said.

 

If you have a negative comment, try and soften it with something positive to say before and after. The impact of the negative is lessened if your spouse hears something good, as well.

 

Speak less definitively. Use words that suggest a solution rather than a demand for it. For example, you may say, “Perhaps” or “Maybe,” rather than, “We must” or “There is no choice.”

 

Do not respond in the same manner if your spouse becomes agitated. That will surely escalate the conflict. Try and respond with calmness if your spouse speaks loudly and in anger.

 

Say you are sorry. Quite simply, it works. Although you may not feel you did anything wrong, if your spouse hears those words, it may be the path to opening a productive dialogue.

 

Seek a solution that will allow each of you to get something. Neither you nor your spouse will get all that you seek. If you propose a compromise, you may achieve that which you want.

 

Offer alternatives. Being strident does not advance your interests. Understand there are issues on both sides, and the ultimate resolution may not be your first choice.

 

Take a break. Realize that there may be times when nothing can be accomplished. These are emotionally charged issues. There are clearly days when nothing can be accomplished.

 

Your San Diego family lawyer can assist you not only in the courtroom, but also in your conduct outside the courtroom. By maintaining a dialogue with your estranged spouse, you may arrive at a positive and quicker resolution. For an initial consultation with experienced San Diego family lawyer Lisa Zonder, simply fill out the form on this page.