Your attorney understands that child custody issues will be a very important and emotional issue in your divorce proceedings. Children and related issues of child support may even stymie progress in reaching settlements between a divorcing couple. Parenting plans are essential.
In order to make sure that child custody and support issues are properly handled with as little emotional drama as possible for the divorcing parents as well as the children involved, a good family lawyer will advise you to remove your children from the equation as quickly as possible and to create a parenting plan.
Address Child-Related Issues Only Once
The most important tip that your attorney will give you in handling child related issues during your divorce proceedings is to address the issues once, early in the process, and do not revisit them again. This is really important because allowing a return to these topics incorporates your children as components in the division of the marital estate and reduces your integrity as a capable parent.
The bottom line is that it is not your children’s fault that you and your spouse are getting a divorce. So it is not fair to get them involved and treat them as yet another asset that needs to be divided upon your divorce. The emotional impact on your child is not worth the fight.
Why Parenting Plans are Important
One of the most important aspects your divorce attorney will assist in during the divorce is the parenting plan. In instances of high conflicts, your divorce attorney may even recommend a mediator.
Children develop their friendships, values, and identity while in school, so schooling is a major part of a good parenting plan.
Your divorce attorney will consider the child’s schooling when helping with the parenting plan. The child may need to be away from one parent for up to five days a week to attend school. Nonetheless, both parents should continue to be involved with the child’s schooling and school related activities.
Your attorney will ensure that your child will continue to have his or her days on a set schedule so that the child can predict his or her daily routine.
It is imperative that divorced parents have an attorney to provide a structured parenting plan to ensure children continue to develop positive self identities during a divorce.
Between the ages of nine and twelve, children develop their identity and self esteem. Children look to their parents to identify their roles as well as learn how to socialize. Sometimes, children of divorced parents may develop poor self esteem due to improper parenting plans.
Guidelines for Positive Self Esteem
To ensure that a child has a positive self-esteem and self-identity, the following should be adhered to as closely as possible:
- Both parents should interact with child on a daily basis.
- Parents should not blame or criticize each other.
- Parents should allow child to love both parents.
- Parents should ensure that the child does not blame anyone for the divorce.
- Parents should not ask child to choose one parent over the other.
- Parents should encourage child to love both parents.
- Parents should allow child to freely choose to bond with either parent.
- Parent should inform children’s school of the divorce to avoid any difficulties.
To ensure that most of these guidelines are met, your family lawyer will aid both parents with a parenting plan.
Creating a Parenting Plan
Ensuring your child is not negatively affected by a divorce is a priority for any parent. To learn more about creating parenting plans during a divorce, please call Zonder Family Law at 818-309-7059 to schedule an initial Strategy Session.